Ross O'Carroll-Kelly: Sorcha is still serious about breaking up and turning it into housing

Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: Sorcha is still serious about breaking up and turning it into housing

Sorcha has ordered a skipper. Yes, no, it may not be big news where you live – but on Vico Road, Killiney, is it, like, huge? Because it’s a proof that you’re on your way. And around here, very little escapes the attention of the local residents’ association, especially with their drone overflights every hour looking for evidence of illegal construction in the area.

I think, “Why did you even order that thing?”

And Sorcha is there, “Because we needed to do, like, a bigger, bigger clearing before we move.”

Yes, no, she’s still serious about hitting the edge and turning it into, like, flats.

“But I have to say,” she says, “that I thought there would be more trouble about it on the Vico Road Residents’ Association WhatsApp. I mean, we ordered a ship, Ross. It’s usually not the kind of thing that does not regrets it here. “

Females look up from their laptop.

She says, “They probably created a separate WhatsApp group to talk about our family.”

Sorcha thinks about this for a minute, then she says, “I think I’ll post a message mentioning that we have a skip and that it’s far from full if anyone has something they want to put in it.”

I’m there, “Why are you provoking people like this?”

But she says, “I’m just a neighbor, Ross,” and rings her phone. “Just because we ended up on the issue of Killiney and Dalkey’s special zero-building status – and just because I was asked to leave this summer’s borbecue – does not mean I have to be as petty as them. Okay, I’ve sent the message. My God, I wonder what the reaction will be? ”

I turn to Honor then and I say: “What are you doing? Trolling celebrities on Twitter again?”

She says, “No, I’m playing tennis in Glenageary tomorrow against this woman,” and she turns on her laptop to show me a picture of – as she said – a woman. She’s kind of in her early 40s. I’m not going to comment on her appearance – just mediocre, if you forced me to do so. “Corina Brien. I have been drawn to her in the Joshua Pim Shield. And I search her social media accounts and look for anything that can give me an advantage.”

I’m like, “In terms of what?”

“Well, for example,” she says, “according to her Facebook account, she was in Berlin on New Year’s Eve 2019 and she slipped on ice and broke her left snake. There is a photograph of her with plaster. Then, according to her Instagram account. , they made a total mess of it when they, sort of, restored the leg, so she had to have surgery again in 2021. Look, there she is sitting up in bed at the Blackrock Clinic. ”

I say, “Jesus, she’s not good without makeup, is she?” And I say that with the greatest will in the world.

Sorcha says, “So what do you do with this information, honor?”

“Well, if she broke her left snake, then it’s going to be weak,” she says. “So I will continue to hit the ball in such a way that she will be forced to use her left backhand.”

“Oh my God!” Sorcha goes.

And I say, “I want to confirm what your old lady just said, honor. People today praise their children. I mean, they pee on the floor of the National Gallery and they will say it’s a place. But you really are a genius. “And we are so, so proud of you.”

“I’m not proud of her,” says Sorcha. “This is completely disgusting behavior. Honor, you can not go through anyone’s private information …”

But Honor says: “It’s not private. Her account is public. She’s a total sympathy junkie. One of the people who posts a message saying ‘I had the worst day ever today’, just to get people to ask her what’s wrong.”

I’m there, “I hate people like that. The fucking nerve of them.”

“There are about 200 photographs of her snake on Facebook alone,” she says. “She even put up her x-rays. I looked at them. It was a pure break across the radius. According to some medical websites I looked up, with that kind of damage, her snake will only ever regain about 60 percent of its previous strength.”

I think, “Oh my God, honor, I could literally die of pride right now?”

Sorcha says, “Well, I think what you’re doing is disgusting.”

Females are there, “It’s because you’re a mug when it comes to other people. I only use information that is public domain.”

Sorcha says, “You take advantage of someone’s misfortune to gain an advantage.”

I’m there, “Yes, it’s called sports, Sorcha. Do you think Andy Farrell would hesitate to torment a certain player if he felt a weakness there? P. Fehily used to say that success was just ruthlessness spelled backwards.”

“Except it’s not?” Sorcha goes. “Success spelled backwards is, I do not know … sseccus?”

“Well, he did not teach English, in the name of justice. He taught rugby and religion. Usually in the same class.”

Anyway, there the thing ends with resting – until the next day, when the doorbell rings and it ends with the guy who has come to remove the ship. The thing is as if overflowing with TVs, refrigerators, kettles, toasters, mixers and Dyson air coolers that the neighbors have dumped there after Sorcha’s announcement.

Except it’s a problem. The guy says, “We must not take electrical objects.”

Sorcha is there, “Excuse me?”

“It says in the terms,” ​​he says. “No electrical objects.”

Sorcha says, “But the thing is – my God, I do not invent this – they are not actually mine?”

“I’m very sorry,” he says, “but I can not remove the container until you remove all electrical objects from it.”

“So what are we going to do with them?”

“You can take them to a recycling station.”

“But it will take six or seven trips.”

“I do not know what else to tell you.”

“So I kind of bothered with everyone else’s trash?”

Behind us in the hallway, I hear Honor say, “Like I said, Mom – you’re a total mug.”

“Honor,” says Sorcha, without even looking over her shoulder, “when are you playing that woman?”

Honor is like, “Tomorrow afternoon.”

And Sorcha is there, “I want to be there. And I want to see you grind her nose in the dirt.”

#Ross #OCarrollKelly #Sorcha #breaking #turning #housing

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